Cole Kuczerpa's Last Ride

The apex athlete. The worst sports gambler alive. The man who's “done drinking.”

Cole Kuczerpa as Michelangelo's David

Cheers to the happy couple — at least Annie knows what she's getting into!

Cole in a suit with wine and a designer bag

"I'm done drinking" — Cole, holding wine, wearing a purse

Cole at a sneaker shop showing off shoes

Cole's rent money, explained in one photo

Two guys holding up cocktails

"We're just having one drink tonight" (narrator: they did not)

Cole with his fiancée and friend

Marrying up has never been more visually obvious

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Tell the AI what you want to do. It'll roast Cole for free.

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Cole showered in rose petals looking defeated

The face of a man who just lost another parlay

Boys drinking beers

"I don't even like going out" — Cole's last words before closing the bar

Cole pointing at a Locals Preferred sign with a beer

"Locals preferred" — Cole, who is not a local

Snapchat selfie captioned God we look badass

"God we look badass" — they did not, in fact, look badass

Cole

“I'm not nervous about the wedding at all”

— Cole Kuczerpa, nervously